1972


As 1971 rolled into 1972, I was busy dreaming of strange and unusual things. On a far
away island where puncheons lined the shore, the wharves made of sawn timber are gently
caressed by the salty breeze. A short distance away, a series of trees that have weathered
many a storm held their ground on this tiny yet impressive island. Several pelicans could
be seen nearby catching fish as they swooped down from the sky. Near the shore by a
rocky cove were two lovers. They were kissing and doing all the little things I could
only dream about. Things I couldn't even imagine at the present time.



As his tongue entered her awaiting mouth, it soon found its way to other places.
I watched them until I saw I was somewhere else. In the unstable world of dreams,
you never know where you're going to end up, and the whole scene was quickly
forgotten. I continued to walk in the sparkling white sand till the scene changed. . .

It was on the larger Island which lay beside it
that I stumbled upon a treasure chest of gold!

At first I thought it was a log the sand had uncovered, but then I realized it was an intricately
designed scrimshaw created by an unrefined boring tool. The artwork depicted a sperm whale
on a pile of coins continuing to spout more. Leaning over it, I opened the huge darkened ivory
box and began to examine each doubloon in that heavy crate. I thrust my two hands down to
the xyloid mesh and pulled them out, when suddenly there was a pirate ship on the horizon.
Am I going to lose all this treasure, I wondered as the ship sailed into port? Looking back down
at the aurulent stash of no longer used currency, my mind could not seem to process the sheer
magnitude of it all. It went far beyond that of life's simple pleasures, and nothing could quite
capture the joy which now radiated in my heart! Once again, I threw my eyes to the sea only this
time the ship was already docked. It almost appeared as though they were exporting cargo from
the wharfs platform and that the ship had been there a dangerously long time! Immediately, I tried
to pull the box out from the sand, but it felt as though it were cemented in. *It was just too heavy*

In dreams time is shifty, uncertain and highly unpredictable.

I then grabbed a coin and scrambled! Upon doing so, I ran into Captain Bligh. "What in
bloody hell do you think you're doing?" "I am taking what's mine," I said. "You'll have to
go through me sword first, now give it!" But I refused to hand over the coin. "You'll have
to pry it out-a-me cold dead hands," I yelled in olde English brogue! "He's makin' tafts at
me," he screamed out in a fit of complete rage!!! He unsheathed his sword and swung it as
hard as he possibly could in my direction! I only felt it touch my neck. That was all it did.
In reality, this would have completely removed my head from my shoulders, but it cut so
clean that it did no harm. "Consider that a warning" shouted the captain as he hastily slid
his sword back into its black holster! "Easy, said the old pirate, he's just a young squat.
Let him be about," he said as he jerked his head in the direction I should go.

(((Then they saw the box)))

Now there is going to be a very serious problem. "This is McGraffy's treasure. So this
is where the bastard buried it! We have to shoot this little boolif!" A word which I've never
heard before and am sure does not exist. "Never veseeth in a quarrel," said the old man,
spraying threads of spittle into the air and looking up toward the sky. Captain Bligh then
fired his gun toward Heaven and said "now give yur cent up!" "Are you hard-a-hearin'
or are ya just ugly," I said provokingly in the brogue I adopted. "You little tarrafact," he
screamed as he once again withdrew his pirate sword!!! He brought it down hard through
the base of my skull, and it exited through the pit of my loins. It only hurt for a second,
then I woke up. As I looked down the impossible had happened. My hand was still
wrapped around the coin! It seemed to have gotten smaller and lighter as it went from
the land of dreams to the land of the living, but nevertheless, I had it! No one was ever
going to believe this, unless, this too was a dream.

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As I slowly opened my hand, I could not wait to see what it was that I had come back with!
It was a brown button. Carefully, I examined my pajamas and saw where the missing button
had been pulled from. "Goddamn it," I said so disheartened! I put it on my nightstand and
then drifted away again. Within minutes, I was driving a car made of solid gold on streets
I knew like the back of my hand. In reality, these streets only exist in dreams.



At first, it was very quiet; I was driving alone through a mountainside. No matter where I turned
another road opened up, and so I followed it. I was soon on the main road that went around in
a zigzag pattern until I came to a red barn that appeared to be situated in the middle of the street.
It was a pleasant day, and I'm sure the sun was shining as I stepped out of the car and began to
advance toward the barn. I went to walk around it, but the barn had been erected on a cliff. Just
looking down made me tremble with fear! It was deathly quiet as I opened the door and stepped
inside. As I moved toward the window, I could see the road continuing from where it left off
under the house. I was now faced with a very serious dilemma.

Sitting down at one of the tables, I picked up a menu and slowly closed my eyes. I was
awakened to the sound of a car beeping and realized I must have fallen asleep at the wheel.
I continued to drive, only now I was driving a beat up taxi. The roads were immaculately
designed in white linoleum, and the city could not even be described! Harmony was chatting
away with some long haired hippy guy in the back seat, and overall they seemed to be quite
happy conversing. Even though he acted overly placid, like a monk. As I watched her run her
fingers along the contours of his face, he seemed to be oblivious to her advances and simply
stared out the side window. I asked them where they wanted to go, but they ignored me, as if
they couldn't hear me, but there was no partition. "I'm just going to keep driving, unless you
tell me where you want to go. It's not fair what you're doing to me," I said feeling very sad and
confused. As I looked at Harmony through the rear view mirror, I confessed to her my heart.

"I don't understand what's going on here. I've always been nice to you, and you've always
been nice back. If something's wrong we can fix it." They were now laughing at me, like I
was a clown while inside, I was dying. Suddenly, the car was getting higher like it was on
some kind of lift, and I immediately began to panic! We were now miles off the ground,
and I did not know how to bring it back down. I had to hold the wheel steady and hope we
wouldn't hit anything and topple! "Harmony," I said terrified, but when I turned to look, they
were gone. They must have gotten out of the car when we were still on the ground. I looked
behind the seat to make sure they weren't fooling around, when I saw something on the floor.
It was shimmering but there was no light reflected from it. I reached over the seat to try and
pick it up, but it was too far down. I then hunched over and strained my arm to reach it,
when the floor gave out like a falling elevator!  

Not a second too soon I thought, with my fist tightly clenched while trying to maintain
my balance, which now hinged solely on my lower abdominal muscles! As I managed
to maneuver myself back into the driver's seat, I began to closely inspect the item which
had now become old and tarnished. It was Harmony's peace ring. You don't remove
something that is a part of you and leave it behind, unless you're through with it. Maybe
she loves this guy and the little ring signifies the little boy she left behind. That's it, I'm
being left behind. Why would she do that to me if I did nothing wrong? Or did I?

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Dreams are merely extensions of waking life. In life, everything has a direct meaning.
You press the button, the garage door opens. You release something from your hand,
it succumbs to the laws of gravity. In life, normal things are usually as they seem. In
dreams, however, things are not as they seem. The way I see it is that the subconscious
mind is continually processing and reprocessing information. When we dream, this
information is supplied to us in an array of puzzles. Some more obvious than others,
but still, you can never take them for face value! Even if they appear to be showing
you a direct meaning. Why? Because now you are now dealing with emotions as well.
Emotions sprawled out on an inviting canvas as seen through an open door. All which
comprise you! Anger, jealously, rage. You get the picture. Since we only use about ten
percent of our brain, we cannot solve the mystery of these puzzles; but if we only could.



I just needed to figure out what I did wrong, so I could fix it. But that was never going
to explain why she would do something like this to me. It had to be a warning! All of a
sudden, the wheels must have hit a curb for the car jolted forward, and something snapped.
Something big!!! It sounded like a gigantic metal rod just broke! Then like in a slow moving
nightmare, the car was coming straight down in a crowded parking lot! "Oh God," I screamed,
don't do this to me! I'm only a kid!!!" As the impact of bone collided with hardened asphalt,
it felt like I was hit in the mouth by a baseball bat! With a bloody face and a broken tooth,
I pulled myself off the hardwood floor and staggered into the bathroom. Blood running
out of my mouth and nose, all over my new cowboys & Indians pajamas.

My God, I thought, this isn't happening! I was permanently disfigured, and she was going
to hate me! I know she was. In my mind, I heard her say things like, "I don't want you in
my house anymore, especially looking like that. Poor little freak-boy, no girl is going to
ever want him now. Go back to your toys, I'm sorry I wasted my time with such a loser."

Every night as I lay in bed, I would look at my wall and see lighted shadows of automobiles
passing by in the evening hours. If they came down my block and turned, I would see them.
Strange shadows that moved across my darkened wall and ceiling. How eerie were these
nocturnal adumbrations! They visit without ever stopping, before fading into obscurity and
out. Since my bedroom was on the second floor, the vehicles would have to turn right or
I would only hear them. If they kept going straight, they would wind up in our driveway
alongside the house! On weekends, I would stay up extra late, contemplating the events
of the day and waiting to see who happened by. My favorite was John Mortimer's 1938
Dodge pickup truck! That terrible beast with its failing hydraulics and engine that was
always half asleep. Somehow, it seemed to manage to get itself around! I noticed that
each vehicle had its own distinct sound, and I knew exactly when certain vehicles were
approaching. I also noticed that most people could not afford to buy a new car or truck,
and were driving earlier models. They were slower and noisier but more fashionable
for the time. It was 1972, and I didn't have a clue what today will bring. Looking into
the mirror, I found I had been woven into the tapestry of the moment. I could not look
at myself anymore. I walked to my bedroom and closed the door. I crawled back into
bed with my stomach churning and eventually managed to find some solace in sleep.

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I awoke Saturday morning to the sound of banging and found that my lip was
pulsating. Mother quickly put some peroxide on a cotton ball and told me to
hold it there. It fizzled and then it stung. "You're going out to see your friend
today," she asked? "Maybe later," I said and went up to do some studying.

From my room, I could still hear the repetitive tacking of the local siding contractors.
Harmony must have hired them to replace some of the asbestos cement siding on her
parents house, for that was where most of the noise was coming from. The rapid
succession of clacking to the cementitious tiles was beginning to grate on my nerves.
Wait a minute, it's New year's day. . . Nobody works on new year's day! I stuck my head
out the window to find the air temperature frosty, but not exceedingly cold. A man holding
one of the square sheets turned in my direction to pick up the hammer he put down. That's
when it hit me. This guy is of Indian descent and must be either a very good acquaintance
or a cousin or something. Now I was angry about the noise, this guy, and the dream!
I thought about slamming the window down with force so that he heard it, but it would
have shattered, and I would have probably gotten the belt; it wasn't worth it.

Upstairs, I played with the broken tooth until it fell out. No big deal, It was lose anyway.
Since today was New Years day, my Grandparents came over to celebrate. They were
drinking and telling stories and boasting of life's events. My grandmother was rambling
on about department stores and the sales going on at Bohack, while my mother pleasantly
agreed. My grandfather was talking about his job as a milkman; fishing, and how wonderful
the music of Bing Crosby's era was, while I couldn't have cared any less.



I was so angry and upset from that dream that I forfeited an entire Saturday, to isolate
myself from the rest of the world. I could think of nothing better to do now than study.

At around 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon, I ventured from my house to traipse over there. No one
appeared to be home, but something didn't feel right to me, and so I didn't stay. I came back
an hour later and then an hour after that. She was home now, cause the lights were on, and so I
knocked and waited patiently for her to open the side door. "What happened, did you lose your
key?" "No," I said in a very despondent tone, "I wasn't sure if you had company." "You are the
only company I keep. Clear?" "I guess," I said, not fully engaged in the conversation. In no way
could I even look her in the eyes, I was so aggravated! After trying to evaluate my condition, she
asked if someone had hurt me, realizing only now that my upper lip was swollen. "No," I said,
"but I'm not your boyfriend, so why should you care?" With that final insult, she became furious
and pulled me by the wrist into the living room where she sat me down on the couch.

"You have no idea what it is like to carry on a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship!"
I looked her dead in the eyes and said in ultimate defiance, "Show me!" She shook
her head very slowly as she moved back. So hurt, so wounded, but why? Was I that
ugly? She always told me I was cute and handsome. Maybe she lied. Harmony just
stood there looking at me, as if she were about to vomit. "You want to know what
it's like?" She said in seething anger! "Then I will show you what it's like!!!" She
then forcibly grabbed the lower half of my jaw and brought her mouth over to where
mine was. From there, I was given the most tender kiss a boy could ever hope to
receive from a girl. Our mouths filled with passion; two hearts ensnared! The kiss
lasted anywhere from two or three minutes and I never once made any attempt to
pull away. When her lips pulled apart from mine, I saw the look she was giving me
and realized it was over. A look so detestable, I thought she was going to recoil and
punch me in my mouth repeatedly till she broke it. The mouth she kissed me on.

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Like hurting me in such a way would be the only way, things ever had any chance
of getting back to normal around here again. She hated me so much, but why?
Because of the lover's kiss? Why couldn't she be attracted to me, like I was to her?
As I looked into those burning, enraged eyes, my heart sunk. The fact that I had
failed to win her over, and the fact that she now despised me and looked as though
she might even kill me, took me to a place of such eloquent sorrow that I was beside
myself. "Are you happy now? You can tell all your little friends at school you got a
big juicy kiss from the pretty woman across the street. I'll even wave to them if
you want. . . Now get the fuck out of my house."



As I stood up two tears fell in unison, and she knew at that moment, I was not going to betray
her. As I reached for her hand and took hold of it in mine, I spoke from the deepest region of
my heart when I said in truth, "That was beautiful. I love you so much, Harmony. Thank you."
As I stood there, gazing into the mirror of her soul, I spoke again. "I just want you to know how
I feel for you as a person. How I feel for you so deep inside. Please, don't hate me for that." While
tears poured out in separate streams, they converged into one at the bottom of my chin. There they
struggled to hold on before falling to the floor. "If I was older, I would give you the world. I would
never treat you bad, and I would protect you, always. I would even give you my own soul."

As I spoke, it was almost like she was blown away. Whatever demon was standing in her place
before was sent back to wherever it was it came from, and I was standing before Harmony again.
Pouring out for her my feelings, as though it were my life's blood. Immediately, she embraced me
and almost broke my ribs. "I am so sorry I reacted that way to you. I had a very bad experience
with someone a long time ago who I once loved deeply. The way you just turned on me like that
reminded me of him, that's all. Why did you do that for? Why did you change on me like that?"
"I had a dream that you were ignoring me. You were with a man, and then you left me in a very
dangerous place, all alone by myself." "Anytime you have those dreams, come to me. Talk to
me okay?" "Okay Harmony; I feel so dumb blaming you for something that happened in my
dream, but if it wasn't for that dream you never would have kissed me."

"The kiss never happened."

I gasped silently and moved back hitting the wall. "It didn't?" I uttered the words so
bewildered and in shock that I wasn't really sure if we had actually kissed at all. I felt
like a deer paralyzed in the headlights, not realizing the barrel of the gun was about to
blow my heart into a million unrecognizable pieces. (((again))) "So you're not my. . ."
I was going to say girlfriend, but I threw my hands up to my face and made some kind
of terrific noise that must have startled Harmony, for she immediately held me tight and
would not release me. I was trembling like I had Bell's Palsy as Harmony whispered aloud,
"I love you Charles, more than you should know and yes, we kissed and yes, I wanted to
kiss you for some time now, but would never have brought myself to do it." "Does that
mean you're my girlfriend,"  I exclaimed? "I am, but can you promise me you will not breathe
a word of what happens between us to anyone?" "I promise." "The day you do, is the day
I must say goodbye to you forever. Do you realize how serious this is?" "I do," I said, like I
would have said had we been at the alter exchanging our vows together! "Okay, our lives are
now in each others hands." *(And she smiled)* "Harmony?" "Hmmm?" "I really love you
more than anyone in this whole world." "As do I you" she replied, as a princess would
have in the most beautiful of fairy tales!



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The order of life had been irreversibly changed! Together we altered each other's
destiny to seal our own fate. In a recondite chapter of a non-written book lies a
story that can never be told. My joy will be to live in the dream and partake of its
glory, and besides, no one really needs to know such intimacies. I would lose too
much time and Harmony would never understand. In addition to every gentle
thing laced in secrecy one should always keep in mind, nothing lasts forever.
There is no time to now for storytelling. I have a woman who needs me by
her side, and every waking moment that passes is undeniably hers.

That evening as I gently closed the door to my bedroom, I lay upon my bed
without making a sound. There in the solemn confines of my immaculate
room, shall I adorate and ponder all things said and done today.

On this day, I have done as a child, what no man has ever done before. Like a magician
preparing to elude the masses, I have performed the impossible. Not only have I walked
through the eye of a needle, but I chose to live in it.I will live my entire life in it, for I have
found a stable dwelling within the heart of an exotic princess. Just looking at her uplifts
my soul and takes me far away from this ordinary place.



From that moment forward, when we sat down on the couch, she would put her arm around
me and hold me close. I loved the feel of her warm embrace. How she touched and caressed
my face and neck, and held my hand so lovingly. It was almost as if she had some kind of
magic spell over me that made me subservient to her every whim. I was intoxicated, not only
by her outward appearance, but by this inner quality she had that molded her into what she
was! This aura of being that flowed from her and made me never want to leave her side.

Her altruistic personality was merely a reflection of her gentle spirit, and the
love she would offer me would far surpass that of any gift given to impress.

My parents had no idea whatsoever this was going on, for we cleverly enacted a scheme
that I suggested to Harmony a few weeks later. She just improvised on it a bit. "Your
younger brother has come to live with you, and he's in a wheelchair, therefore he cannot
leave the house!" It was a brilliant plan, and it worked like a charm. Now I could even
sleep over! My parents were too busy fighting to worry about whether or not their little
boy would be sleeping with the beautiful young woman across the street, whose
younger brother we named Timmy, just so happens to be crippled.

It was like we had committed the perfect crime!

In the beginning when I had first mentioned this to Harmony, she thought I had gone mad.
That I could not possibly be serious. When she realized I was, in fact, dead serious, she
said, "I just want to lay this out for you nice and easy. It is on your head, if something
should go wrong from this asinine stunt! Then I will be forced to kidnap you, and you
will have ruined my life!" Later that evening she said to me, "You know what? Let's do it.
I'll talk my way out of any trap you lead me into, and then I'll ravage you like a hungry wolf!
Come here, lift up your shirt." She then proceeded to give me a hickey on the under part of
my arm, which covered my armpit. "As long as you keep your arm down, your parents will
not see it. If they do happen to see it, just say you were wrestling, and they will think it's a
bruise." "Whenever my cousins get a new boyfriend, I see these marks. What do they mean?"
"It, means you're mine. You belong to me." Since Harmony had recently decided she would
be taking an indefinite leave from her brother's antique store, all time would be devoted to me!
I wasn't worried in the slightest about my parents wanting to eventually meet Timmy, for they
weren't interested in anyone or anything but themselves.

Aside from them being two workaholics who were never home, when they finally got home
they were ultimately exhausted. But nonetheless, they were never too tired to fight. Apart from
all this they had more pressing issues to attend to. Utility bills. The mortgage. Homeowner's
insurance. Car insurance. Property tax. The car when it broke down, and it broke down a lot.
Food & clothing expenses, not to mention health insurance! So I didn't think they would
be breaking down Harmony's door to rush me home for TV dinner!

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If they could save a dollar here and there, then they would do it and besides, those damn
dinners were worse than hospital food anyway! My mom and dad thanked Harmony on
more than one occasion for watching me and cooking for me, and she always marveled
to them about how well behaved I was! They even offered to pay her, handsomely on
several occasions for the service, but she flatly refused!

These are all the scribbled notes I have collected from those years.
Pages once part of a journal. Now keep in mind that the memories
I have stored away from this period of time are sketchy and faded.
Sadly, they are held together with only tears, and I am adding
life to them as we go along.



It was Sunday, January 16th, and the temperature had continued to fall. Yesterday we had
a high of 32 degrees, while today would reach a high of only 12. As we sat side by side on
the couch, her arm wrapped around me, holding me tight, I was desperately trying to think
of something to say. Just then the wind blew hard, and the vent cover to the kitchen wall fan
started to make that familiar tapping sound. For no apparent reason whatsoever, I took her
hand and began licking ever so gently the tips of her fingers, starting with the pinky and working
my way down to her index finger. She sounded as if she was going into shock as she said to me
in a shaky and trembling voice. "You have no---idea---what you---are doing to me." I looked at
the palm of her hand and began licking and kissing it. All those gorgeous fingers I thought, and it
did something to my body that had not yet been explained to me. I then put her thumb in my mouth
and she went crazy; kissing my neck and mouth, as if she had the fever! All sloppy and wet and I
loved it! I embraced her and we consummated our love. This went on until November, 1974.

A day in my life which tragically came to be known as "Dark Monday." I wrote it upon
my wall, as though I were possessed by demons. A day so terrible it would change the
course of my life forever, but in '72 everything was calm and peaceful for the storm,
which was yet to come was now not even a whisper.

As we got closer to one another, Harmony would cook for me regularly and even help me
with my homework. She asked me what my favorite food was, and what I would like her
to buy from the store. I said to her, "whatever you eat, I will eat," and I always did.

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Even when she bought that awful okra and Brussel sprouts. Oh, and lest we forget, those
revolting turnips that made my stomach churn with nausea beyond compare! Turnips I
would not have eaten for anyone! I did it as a labor of love and would continue doing it.
As I grew accustomed to eating them, I also got used to the nauseating discomfort they
produced. The thought of having to eat them or risk losing Harmony, was the formation
of my neurosis. In my head, I was sure that if you were to disassemble the female brain,
you would find the part in there that loves it when a man is agreeable and does everything
he is supposed to do. The same applies to food put in front of him. If a man eats everything
with no complaints, how can he be criticized? Most children complain of certain foods, and
gripe if the soda is warm, but a man must consume everything he is served! Even if the iced
tea is overly strong, made without sugar, and tastes like powerful analgesic!

Harmony often said that one day I was going to make some lucky
lady a wonderful husband, and I always thought she meant her.

Come to think of it, I do remember a few things I told her to pick up from the store.
Doritos taco chips, (when they were made from the original recipe.) Quisp cereal,
with the pink Martian on the blue box, and those Beer Nuts! I had to have them!



I knew about them because up until about 1970, I used to hang around with my
father when he frequented the local gin mills. He'd order me a soda on tap, and I
would sit next to him on the barstool nibbling away on an unlimited supply
of those sweet and salty coated peanuts!

"You got it," she said, like a vixen who had just stolen my heart and had no intention of
ever giving it back! "I'll make a mental note of it for the next time I go. Is there anything
else I can get for you?" "No that's it, thanks!" Whenever I wanted them, Harmony made
sure to personally hand feed me each one! Even when I wasn't craving them, I would find
myself requesting them anyway. How delicately she would place each one in my mouth,
and watch so intensely as my tongue took the peanut from the tips of her enticing fingers.
Harmony always made sure to roll the peanut around on her thumb and forefinger, so I had
more to lick and savor! After this she sometimes caressed my back. When she finished,
I would be drawn to her breasts. She allowed me to feast on them and told me it was all
a learning experience. In return, I allowed her access to every part of my body. She even
touched me deep in the forbidden region, where hesitation brings delight to fulfillment.

What an exquisite woman you are indeed my love,
for whom no man could ever be worthy.

Harmony and I were always happy, unlike my parents who were always miserable.
That was probably because they both felt equally responsible for having me and seemed
as though they had some moral obligation to stay married. "First one up the stairs gets to
undress the other!" With that she ran up the stairs, and I chased after her with my heart aglow!
"I win, you're all mine!" I looked around the room with excited eyes, in awe of what I saw.

Up until this moment I was forbidden to enter Harmony's room.
I was told only once and had to swear upon our love that I would not
enter. Not until the time was right. I kept my promise to her because
a man must live by his word. If he cannot, then he is not a man.

In this room that was painted royal peach, there was a fully enclosed canopy bed. A bed
which was so elaborately adorned it looked like a room inside a room! Adjacent to the
illustrious sleeping quarters was a slender cheval mirror and a beautifully crafted Elizabethan
chair. "Do you like my room," she asked buoyantly? I told her I loved it, and in all honestly
I really did! Like an actress from the roaring twenties, she responded by saying with her
lips pursed and her head held high, "I am merely a collector of wares!"

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Hastily, she ran her hands under my shirt before pulling it up and over my head. She then
began to remove my clothing, and it wasn't long after this that we explored the boundaries
of each other. And who should care? It was my right to want and to need this woman.
To hold such a precious gift in my arms without wavering. Hell I didn't falter in the slightest.
Just because I was young, didn't mean I didn't have a brain. Nor did it mean I didn't deserve
her! Okay maybe you're right, I didn't deserve her, for I could never be that worthy. And if I
was unworthy, how could anyone in their right mind even think for one second that they could
possibly be worthy? Just because one has money doesn't mean one is worthy! For them
it would be like laying claim to a magnificent trophy. 

She was not an object, but rather an angel in the form of a woman who came to bless
my world. That is how I saw it. I'm pretty sure that if God judges people based on the
love and respect they hold dear to one another, then it is safe to say that we would be
revered by the conscience of our own two hearts beating in a passionate and loving
embrace. Not as an act of sin, but rather as a gift of purest love to one another.



Here in a timeless void of such intensity, we were endeared to each other as we adhered to
the promises we made, honoring the will to grant wishes in the form of all human
compassion. This was our will. Her's to love and care for me, and mine, that I may
offer myself unto her. To please her above all things and to honor and adore her
without end. My gift was pure, for deep down inside this frail little body was the
consolation of a lifetime promise. And who is the stranger in the shadows to condemn?
Do you know me, that you seek to bring me pain? Who are you to say what is right and
what is wrong for me? Guide yourself in your own affairs and surely you will find your
own faults, but most importantly, keep your distance for your laws do not apply in our
world. "Never speak vile about love, my darling," she once told me. "Be a man without
being the animal man wishes to become." In the end, I would make it my life's work.

On occasion, she would dance for me like a harem doll to songs like "Mindrocker" by Fenwyck.
"Baby, it's real" by Curt Boettcher or "Catch the wind" by Donovan, which just so happened
to be her favorite. Whenever she danced, I simply could not take my eyes off her!



Sometimes, when she listened to her Indian music, Harmony would dress up for me in those adoring
outfits of hers! The multicolored saris, the crepe kameez, or my favorite, the tangerine ghagra choli.
What really drove me wild was when she wore that gold tikka onher forehead! When I first saw it,
I asked her if it hurt. She laughed and replied, "what do you think,it's drilled in?" I then imagined
my mother wearing it and exploded in laughter!!! Most of the time she would simply paint a little
red bindi from sindoor powder and leave it at that.

It was explained to me that in her culture, the little red dot usually
tended to signify marriage which made me extremely happy. However,
when any of her relatives arrived, she would always hurry to remove
it before camouflaging the area with turmeric and rouge, which
overwhelmed me with a sorrow beyond compare.

During the day, she would wear either her chiffon kurta, the plain beige churidar or a traditional
Western outfit that any typical American young lady would find fashionable. As time went on,
I secretly took down the names of all these outfits and when I got home, I'd transcribe them to
my journal. Otherwise, I would never have been able to remember them! Even though most of
the names took weeks, if not months to research because they were spelled wrong, and I didn't
have an Indian dictionary.

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The one thing that really fascinated me about Harmony was that she wasn't overly Americanized.
This country had not changed her. She knew who she was, and she wasn't afraid to show it.
Yes, Harmony still believed in the customs of her people, and for her parents, she had nothing
but the utmost praise and devotion. Anything they asked of her would instantly be recognized,
and if she gave her word on something, you could rest assured it would be fulfilled.



When she was in a playful mood, she would put a record on
the turntable and direct the lyrics at me. Taunting and teasing,
she would point her finger at me as she winked and smiled,
so coquettishly seductive, luring me to become one with her.

I did not believe in being a slave unto society's ways, and so I did
things my own way. The way they needed to be done. Anyone who
has a chance to fall in love should take the time and do so. To me,
I could find no harm in it, for I was truly smitten! As a woman, she
had no faults and was perfect in every aspect of her being. Every
woman it seems has some denotable flaw; Harmony had none.

A woman that perfect should never have graced the earth,
but I, was deemed worthy by some cosmic star.

Harmony often said that in a perfect relationship the man had to be intuitive and hear the woman
or the relationship would fail. When she told me her likes and dislikes, I remembered them and
never had to write them down. When she talked, I never interrupted her and most important of
all, when a notable day comes around like your sweetheart's birthday (which is a given) or your
anniversary, it is imperative that you observe and comply! Tattoo it on your wrist if need be,
because you absolutely cannot forget this day, or it hurts them beyond repair and a mild resentment
is formed. If it starts early, it will most certainly end early, and even more important than anything
else, never, ever be afraid to say "I love you." It is the quintessential most important phrase
on the planet. "Don't say it if you don't mean it!" I was in an advanced class at the time, so
I caught on quickly. Everything I did, magically seemed to impress her and the more points
I scored, the more lovin' I received in return! It was an utterly flawless relationship.
*Even though we had to hide our love away*

I will admit that in the beginning, I was prone to leaving the toilet seat up. After
countless times of leaving it up and Harmony going in there, I finally made the connection
between man and woman when she slammed the seat down with such force, it sounded like
the sink crashed through the tile floor! From that moment forward, I never left the seat up
again. Even then she came out smiling, as if she walked in on Monday and came out
Friday with the sun shining! I guess she just didn't want to tell me. Maybe she
wanted me to figure it out on my own.

Knowing that Harmony's birthday was coming up in two weeks, I asked my cousin Gloria
for some advice. "When a man loves a woman, what should he buy for her birthday that is
guaranteed to please her?" "Are you asking me this because you found a girlfriend?" "No,
this is not about me. A man and a woman." "Well, then that depends," she said. "On what?"
"On whether or not they had sex." With that my cousin Patty screamed, "Gloria! Are you an
asshole? Don't tell him that!" I then replied, "after," and she gave me one of those mother/son
looks before asking me nervously. "Please don't tell me you dipped your wick at school."
"I didn't dip. . . What?" "Never mind, I'm sorry. If this person is an adult, and if it was after
the fact, then he should by all means buy her a box of long stemmed roses. And if you can't
afford the roses, I have something in my drawer that's guaranteed to please her." "Gloria-Gloria!"
"It's long and it's hard and it buzzes!" With that Patty bursts in with a devilish grin; "You have one
of those?" "Yeah, you wanna try it?" "Try what," I said innocently? "Nothing," said Patty and left
the room. Why do you want to know so much about how to please a woman? Said my cousin loudly,
deliberately trying to instigate a response from my cousin Patty? "Are you having sex with girls?"
"Glo-ri-a! You're fucked up, I'm telling mommy." "Thanks," I said coolly and began to leave.
"The guy better remember to get her a nice card, or he's gonna be using his left hand for awhile!"
"What the fuck are you stupid," screamed Patty furiously!!!

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PG 169) Artist Unknown - Romance-700

PG 170) Contemplation by Ilene Meyer

PG 171) Learning to walk by Gyuri Lohmuller

PG 172) White Christmas by Bing Crosby

PG 173) Serpentine Seduction by Patrick Jones

PG 173) Elven Fortress by Tim Hildebrandt

PG 174) Eye of the needle by Vladimir Kush

PG 175) Pillow Book by Vladimir Kush

PG 176) Quisp cereal by Quaker

PG 177) New age by Gyuri Lohmuller

PG 177) Court Dancer by Govind Bendne

PG 178) Rajasthani Ladies - The magic of music