Charles Pendelton
      © 2008 Marty Langdon
Chapter 32 (1972) pt 3

                                                                         1972


As 1971 rolled into 1972, I was busy dreaming of strange and unusual things. On a far
distant island where puncheons line the shore, the wharves made of sawn timber are
gently caressed by the salty breeze. A short distance away, a series of trees that have
weathered many a storm held their ground on this tiny yet impressive island. Several
pelicans could be seen nearby catching fish as they swooped down from the sky. Near
the shore by a rocky cove were two lovers. They were kissing and doing all the little
things I could only dream about. Things I couldn't even imagine at the present time.




As his tongue entered her awaiting mouth, it soon found its way to other places.
I watched them until I found I was somewhere else. In the unstable world of dreams,
you never know where you're going to end up, and the whole scene was quickly
forgotten. I continued to walk in the sparkling white sand until the scene changed.


It was on the larger Island which lay beside it

that I stumbled upon a treasure chest of gold!



At first I thought it was a log the sand had uncovered, but I soon realized it was an intricately
designed scrimshaw created by an unrefined boring tool. The artwork depicted a sperm whale
on a pile of coins continuing to spout more. Leaning over it, I opened the huge darkened ivory
box and began to examine each doubloon in that heavy crate. I thrust my two hands down to
the xyloid mesh and pulled them out, when suddenly there was a pirate ship on the horizon.

Am I going to lose all this treasure, I wondered as the ship sailed into port? Looking back down
at the aurulent stash of no longer used currency, my mind could not seem to process the sheer
magnitude of it all. It went far beyond that of life's simple pleasures, and nothing could quite
capture the joy which now radiated in my heart! Once again, I threw my eyes to the sea, only this
time the ship was already docked. It almost appeared as though they were exporting cargo from
the wharfs platform and that the ship had been there a dangerously long time! Immediately, I tried
to pull the box out from the sand, but it felt as though it were cemented in.
*It was just too heavy*

In dreams time is shifty, uncertain and highly unpredictable.



I then grabbed a coin and scrambled! Upon doing so, I ran into Captain Bligh. “What in
bloody hell do you think you're doing?” “I am taking what's mine,” I said. “You'll have to
go through me sword first, now give it!” But I refused to hand over the coin. “You'll have
to pry it out-a-me cold dead hands,” I yelled mockingly, in an olde English brogue! “He's
makin' tafts at me,” he screamed out in a fit of complete rage!!! He unsheathed his sword
and swung it as hard as he possibly could in my direction! I barely felt it touch my neck.
That was all it did, and the scene continued where it left off with no one the wiser.


In reality, this would have completely removed my head from my shoulders, but it cut so

clean that it did no harm. “Consider that a warning,” shouted the captain as he hastily slid
his sword back into its black holster! “Easy, said the old pirate, he's just a young squat.
Let him be about,” he said agitatedly, as he jerked his head in the direction I should go.


                                            (((Then they saw the box)))

Now there is going to be a very serious problem. “This is McGraffy's treasure. So this
is where the bastard buried it! We have to shoot this little boolif!” A word which I've
never heard before, and am sure does not exist. “Never veseeth in a quarrel,” said the
old man, spraying threads of spittle into the air and looking up toward the sky. Captain
Bligh then fired his gun toward Heaven and said, “now give yur cent up!” “Are you
hard-a-hearin' or are ya just ugly," I said provokingly in the brogue I adopted. “You
little tarrafact,” he screamed as he once again withdrew his pirate sword!!! He brought
it down hard through the base of my skull, and it exited through the pit of my loins. It
only hurt for a second, then I woke up. As I looked down the impossible had happened.

My hand was still wrapped around the coin!
It seemed to have gotten smaller and
lighter as it went from the land of dreams to the land of the living, but nevertheless,
I had it! No one was ever going to believe this, unless, this too was a dream.
 
                                                   Nocturnal Day Dream - Had a dream last night

                                                                                                                   Pg 169
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As I slowly opened my clenched hand, I could not wait to see what it was that I had
come back with! It was a brown button. Carefully, I examined my pajamas and saw
where the missing button had been pulled from. “Goddamn it,” I said, so disheartened
in realizing the impossible had (once again) not come true. I put it on my nightstand
and then drifted away again. Within minutes, I was driving a car made of solid gold on
streets I knew like the back of my hand. In reality, these streets only exist in dreams.




At first, I was driving through a quiet mountainside. No matter where I turned another road
opened up, and so I followed it. Driving was fun, and I was doing it so naturally, that I was
unimpressed with the mechanics of it all. I was soon on the main road that went around in
a zigzag pattern, until I came to a red barn that was situated in the middle of the street.

It was a pleasant day, and I'm sure the sun was shining as I stepped out of the car, and began
walking toward the barn. I went to walk around it, but the barn had been erected on a cliff. It
was here where the road ended. Just looking down made me tremble with fear! Even though
there was an ocean of water below, the sheer thought of it being so high up literally took my
breath away! It was deathly quiet as I opened the door and stepped inside. The place had
been long abandoned. As I walked through the barn to the window, I could now see the road
continued from where it left off under the house! How the hell is that even possible? I thought.

I was now faced with a very serious dilemma.
I could either leave the car behind and continue on foot,
or I could go back. I needed to make a decision and fast.


Sitting down at one of the tables, I picked up a menu and my eyes slowly began to close.



A mild chattering had begun in the kitchen and I heard one of the patrons ask his waitress
for a glass of water.
I don't remember how many people were in the barn, but there weren't
|many. It's strange how the past and future collide in dreams, without you really picking up
on it! I was now wondering how long it would take them to bring my dinner, since everyone
else was eating, I just assumed they would feed me as well. H
earing the strike of a wooden
match
from afar, it wasn't very long before I began to smell that wretched smoke!

My mother was probably tucking me in with a cigarette dangling loosely from her
lips, and I would not have been more certain of that fact, had I awoken in flames!

Slowly, the voices were diminished and the external noise
became the singing of insects in a country field toward midnight.

I then awoke to the sound of a car beeping and realized I must have fallen asleep at the wheel.
I continued to drive, only now I was driving a beat up taxi. The roads were immaculately
covered in white linoleum, and the city could not accurately be described! Harmony was
chatting away with some long haired hippy in the back seat, and overall they seemed to be quite
happy conversing. Even though he acted overly placid, like a monk. As I watched her run her
fingers along the contours of his face, he seemed to be oblivious to her advances and simply
stared out the side window. I asked them where they wanted to go, but they ignored me, as if
they couldn't hear me, but there was no partition
. “I'm just going to keep driving, unless you
tell me where you want to go. It's not fair what you're doing to me.” I said, feeling very sad and
confused. As I looked at Harmony through the rear view mirror, I confessed to her my heart.


                                                                      The Ivy League - Funny how love can be

“I don't understand what's going on here. I've always been nice to you, and you've always been
nice back. If something's wrong we can fix it.” They were now laughing at me, like I was a clown
while inside, I was dying. Suddenly, the car was getting higher like it was on some kind of lift,
and I immediately began to panic! We were now miles off the ground, and I did not know how to
bring it back down. I had to hold the wheel steady and hope we wouldn't hit anything and topple!

                                                                      The Zoofs - Not so near

“Harmony,” I said terrified, but when I turned to look, they were gone. They must have gotten out
of the car when we were still on the ground. I looked behind the seat to make sure they weren't
fooling around, when I saw something on the floor. It was shimmering, but there was no light
reflected from it. I reached over the seat to try and pick it up, but it was too far down. I then
hunched over and strained my arm to reach it, when the floor gave out like a falling elevator!


Not a second too soon I thought, with my fist tightly clenched while trying to maintain
my balance, which now hinged solely on my lower abdominal muscles! As I managed
to maneuver myself back into the driver's seat, I began to closely inspect the item which
had now become old and tarnished. It was Harmony's peace ring. You don't remove
something that is a part of you and leave it behind, unless you're through with it. Maybe
she loves this guy and the little ring signifies the little boy she left behind. That's it, I'm
being left behind. Why would she do that to me if I did nothing wrong? Or did I?

                                                                      The Others - Until I heard it from you


                                                                                                                   Pg 170
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Dreams are merely extensions of waking life. In life, everything has a direct meaning.
You press the button, the garage door opens. You release something
from your hand,
it succumbs to the laws of gravity. In life, normal things are
usually as they seem.



In dreams however, things are not as they seem. The way I see it is that the subconscious
mind is continually processing and reprocessing information. When we dream, this
information is supplied to us in an array of puzzles. Some more obvious than others,
but still, you can never take them for face value! Even if they appear to be showing
you a direct meaning. Why? Because now you are now dealing with emotions as well.
Emotions sprawled out on an inviting canvas as seen through an open door. All which
comprise you! Anger, jealously, rage. You get the picture. Since we only use about ten
percent of our brain, we cannot solve the mystery of these puzzles; but if we only could.


                                                     
The Trade Winds - Little Susan's Dreamin'



I just needed to figure out what I did wrong, so I could fix it. But that would never explain
why she would do something like this to me. It had to be a warning! All of a sudden, the
wheels must have hit a curb for the car jolted forward, and something snapped. Something
big!!! It sounded like a gigantic metal rod just broke! Then in this slow moving nightmare
the car began to tilt, and was coming straight down into a parade full of people! “Oh God,”
I screamed out, “don't do this to me! I'm only a kid!!!” As the impact of bone collided with
hardened asphalt, it felt like I was hit in the mouth by a baseball bat! With a bloody face,
and a broken tooth, I pulled myself off the hardwood floor and staggered into the bathroom;
blood running out of my mouth and nose, all over my new cowboys & Indians pajamas.


“My God,” I thought, “this isn't happening!” I was permanently disfigured, and Harmony
was going to hate me! I know she was. In my mind, I heard her say things like, “I don't
want you in my house anymore, especially looking like that. Poor little freak-boy,
no girl is going to ever want him now. Go back to your toys, I'm sorry I wasted my
time with such a loser.” I was frightened as I thought of what awaited me tomorrow.
I looked at the time on my new light blue electric flip clock, and it read 3:20.


                                                             The Zoo - Sometimes

Every night as I lay in bed, I would look at my wall and see
lighted shadows of automobiles
passing by in the evening hours.
If they came down my block and turned, I would see them.


Strange shadows that moved in a sinister fashion across my darkened wall and ceiling.
How eerie were these
nocturnal adumbrations! They visit without ever stopping, before
fading into obscurity and
out. There was a sense of mystery about them, that made lying
in bed kind of interesting. Since my bedroom was on the second floor, the vehicles would
have to turn right or
I would only hear them. If they kept going straight, they would wind
up parked in our driveway
alongside the house! On weekends, I would stay up extra late,
contemplating the events
of the day, and waiting to see who happened to pass by.

My favorite was John Mortimer's 1938
Dodge pickup truck!

That terrible beast with its failing hydraulics and engine that sounded like it was
always 
half asleep. Somehow, it seemed to manage to get itself around without puttering out!
I noticed that
each vehicle had its own distinct sound, and I knew exactly when certain
vehicles were
approaching. I also noticed that most people could not afford to buy a new
car or truck,
and were driving earlier models. They were slower and noisier, but a lot more
interesting to me
! It was 1972, and I didn't have a clue what the new day would bring.

Turning on the light, I went back into the bathroom to look into the
mirror. Gazing at
my own image, I found I'd been woven into the tapestry of the moment. I couldn't look
at
myself anymore. I walked to my bedroom and closed the door. I crawled back into
bed
with my stomach churning and eventually managed to find some solace in sleep.


                                                      Tommy Roe - Melancholy mood

                                                                                                                   Pg 171
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I awoke Saturday morning to the sound of banging and found that my lip was
pulsating. Mother quickly put some peroxide on a cotton ball and told me to
hold it there. It fizzled and then it stung. "You're going out to see your friend
today," she asked? "Maybe later," I said and went up to do some studying.


From my room, I could still hear the repetitive tacking of the local siding
contractors. Harmony must have hired them to replace some of the asbestos
cement siding on her parents house, for that was where most of the noise was
coming from. The rapid succession of clacking to those white cementitious tiles
was beginning to grate on my nerves. Wait a minute, it's New year's day. . .

                                 Nobody works on new year's day!



I stuck my head out the window to find the air temperature frosty, but not
exceedingly cold. A man holding one of the square sheets turned in my direction
to pick up the hammer he put down. That's when it hit me; this guy is of Indian
descent and must be either "a very good acquaintance" or a cousin or something.
Now I was angry about the noise, this guy, and the dream! I thought about
slamming the window down with force so that he heard it, but it would have
shattered, and I would have probably gotten the belt. It just wasn't worth it.


                                              The Baytowners - Goes to show just how wrong you can be



Upstairs, I played with the broken tooth until it fell out. No big deal, it was
lose anyway.
Since today was New Years day, my maternal Grandparents
came over to celebrate. They brought the usual Stauffer's star cookies and
some assorted pastries from the local sweet shoppe. Within no time at all,
they were
drinking and telling stories and boasting of big life's events. My
grandmother was rambling
on about department store values and the sales
going on at Bohack, while mother pleasantly
agreed, sipping her cocktail.




Her cocktail of the that particular era was either a Tom Collins, or a Manhattan;
I couldn't say which, because I wasn't taking notes of the event. I do remember,
however, my father who usually drank Scotch on the rocks (on special occasions)
had whipped himself up something called a Harvey Wallbanger. . .
How strange!

My grandfather was now talking about his job as a milkman. How on Friday
morning of soon-to-be Christmas Eve, nearly half the people on his route put
a shot of whiskey in the milk box, instead of his usual tip! "After the fifteenth
shot, I was feeding the bushes! You should have seen me driving home," he
hollered!!! The conversation soon progressed into fishing, and how wonderful
the music of Bing Crosby's era was, while I couldn't have cared any less if I tried.


                                                 Bing Crosby - White Christmas




I was so angry and upset
from that dream that I forfeited an entire Saturday, to isolate
myself from the rest of the world.
I could think of nothing better to do now than study.


At around 2:00 on a Sunday afternoon, I ventured from my house to traipse over there.
No one appeared to be home, but something didn't feel right to me, and so I didn't stay.
I came back an hour later and then an hour after that. She was home now, cause the
lights were on, and so I knocked and waited patiently for her to open the side door.

“What happened, did you lose your key?” “No,” I said in a very despondent tone, “I
wasn't sure if you had company.” “You are the only company I keep. Clear?” “I guess,”
I said, not fully engaged in the conversation. In no way could I even look her in the
eyes, I was so aggravated! After trying to evaluate my condition, she asked if someone
had hurt me, realizing only now that my upper lip was swollen. “No,” I said, “but I'm
not your boyfriend, so why should you care?” With that final insult, she became furious
and pulled me by the wrist into the living room, where she sat me down on the couch.


“You have no idea what it is like to carry on a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship!”
I looked her straight in the eyes and said in ultimate defiance, “Show me!” She shook
her head very slowly as she moved back. So shocked, so wounded, but why? Was I
that ugly? She always told me I was cute and handsome. Maybe she lied. Harmony
just stood there looking at me, as if she were about to vomit. “You want to know what
it's like?” She said in seething anger! “Then I will show you what it's like!!!” She
then forcibly grabbed the lower half of my jaw and brought her mouth over to where
mine was. From there, I was given the most tender kiss a boy could ever hope to
receive from a girl. Our mouths filled with passion; two hearts ensnared!

                                                           The Thunders - Take me the way I am



The kiss lasted anywhere from two or three minutes, and I never once made any attempt
to pull away. When her lips pulled apart from mine, I saw the look she was giving me
and realized it was over. A look so detestable, I thought she was going to recoil and
punch me in my mouth repeatedly till she broke it. . . The mouth she kissed me on.


                                                                                                                   Pg 172
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Like hurting me in such a way would be the only way, things ever had any chance of
getting back to normal again. She hated me so much, but why? Because of the lover's
kiss? Why couldn't she be attracted to me, like I was to her? As I looked into those
burning, enraged eyes, my heart sunk. The fact that I had failed to win her over, and the
fact that she now despised me and looked as though she might even kill me, took me to
a place of such eloquent sorrow that I was beside myself. “Are you happy now? You can
tell all your little friends at school you got a big juicy kiss from the pretty woman across
the street. I'll even wave to them if you want. . . Now get the fuck out of my house.”

                                                   The Zephyrs - I just can't take it




As I stood up, two tears fell in unison and she knew at that moment, I was not going to betray
her. As I reached for her hand and took hold of it, I spoke from the deepest region of my heart
when I said to her in truth, “that was beautiful. I love you so much, Harmony. Thank you.” As
I stood there, gazing into the mirror of her eyes, I spoke again. “I just want you to know how I
feel for you as a person. How I feel for you deep inside. Please, don't hate me for that. While
tears poured out in separate streams, they converged into one at the bottom of my chin. There
they struggled to hold on before falling to the floor. “If I was older, I would give you the world.
I would never treat you bad, and I'd protect you always. I would even give you, my own soul.


As I spoke, it was almost like she was blown away. Whatever demon was standing in her
place before was sent back to wherever it came from, and I was standing beside Harmony
again, pouring out for her my feelings,as though it were my life's blood. Immediately, she
embraced me and almost broke my ribs! “I am so sorry I reacted that way to you. I had a very
bad experience with someone a long time ago who I once loved deeply. The way you turned
on me like that reminded me of him, that's all. Why did you do that for? Why did you change
on me like that?” “I had a dream that you were ignoring me. You were with a man, and you
left me in a very dangerous place, all alone by myself.” “Anytime you have those dreams,
come to me. Talk to me okay?” “Okay Harmony; I feel so dumb blaming you for something
that happened in my dream, but if it wasn't for that dream, you never would have kissed me.”


                                               “The kiss never happened.”


I gasped silently and moved back hitting the wall. “It didn't?” I uttered the words so bewildered
and in shock that I wasn't really sure if we had actually kissed at all. I felt like a deer paralyzed
in the headlights, not realizing the barrel of the gun was about to blow my heart into a million
unrecognizable pieces. (((again))) “So you're not my. . .” I was going to say girlfriend, but I threw
my hands up to my face and made some kind of terrific noise that must have startled Harmony,
for she immediately held me tight and would not release me. I was trembling like I had Bell's Palsy
as Harmony whispered aloud, “I love you Charles, more than you should know and yes, we kissed
and yes, I wanted to kiss you for some time now, but would never have brought myself to do it.”

“Does that mean you're my girlfriend,” I exclaimed? “I am, but can you promise me you will not
breathe a word of what happens between us to anyone?” “I promise." “The day you do, is the day
I must say goodbye to you forever. Do you realize how serious this is?” “I do,” I said, like I would
have said
had we been at the alter exchanging our vows together! “Okay, our lives are now in each
others hands.” *(And she smiled)* “Harmony?” “Hmmm?” “I really love you more than anyone in this
whole world.” “As do I you” she replied, as a princess would have in the most beautiful of fairy tales
!




                                                                                                                   Pg 173
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The order of life had been irreversibly changed! Together we altered each other's
destiny to seal our own fate. In a recondite chapter of a non-written book lies a
story that can never be told. My joy will be to live in the dream and partake of its
glory, and besides, no one really needs to know such intimacies. I would lose too
much time and Harmony would never understand. In addition to every gentle
thing laced in secrecy one should always keep in mind, nothing lasts forever.
There is no time now for storytelling. I have a woman who needs me by
her side, and every waking moment that passes is undeniably hers.


That evening as I gently closed the door to my bedroom, I lay upon my bed
without making a sound. There in the solemn confines of my immaculately
clean room, shall I adorate and ponder all things said and done today.

On this day, I have done as a child, what no man has ever done before. Like a magician
preparing to elude the masses, I have performed the impossible. Not only have I walked
through the eye of a needle, but I chose to live in it. I will live my entire life in it, for I have
found a stable dwelling within the heart of an exotic princess. Just looking into those eyes
of hers uplifts my soul and takes me far away from this ordinary place I once called home.




From that moment forward, when we sat down on the couch, she would put her arm around
me and hold me close. I loved the feel of her warm embrace. How she touched and caressed
my face and neck, and held my hand so lovingly. It was almost as if she had some kind of
magic spell over me that made me subservient to her every whim. I was intoxicated, not only
by her outward appearance, but by this inner quality she had that molded her into what she
was! This aura of being that flowed from her and made me never want to leave her side.

                             
Sons of Adam - I told you once before

Her altruistic personality was merely a reflection of her gentle spirit, and the
love she would offer me would far surpass that of any gift given to impress.



In my mind, our love would not only brighten, but enlighten an entire world!
A world whose concept of joy comes from long hours on the job, to picking up
a paycheck each week. Yes, money can satisfy hunger, and alleviate mounting
anxiety. Hell, it can give you almost anything you could ever possibly desire.

But it can't make the impossible possible.
Once in a great while, God will produce for you a miracle.


                                             The Fifth - Yesterdays today

My parents had no idea this was going on, for we cleverly enacted a scheme that
I suggested to Harmony a few weeks later. She just improvised on it a bit. “Your
younger brother has come to live with you, and he's in a wheelchair, therefore he
cannot leave the house!” It was a brilliant plan, and it worked like a charm. Now
I could even sleep over! My parents were too busy fighting to worry about whether
or not their little boy would be sleeping with the beautiful young woman across the
street, whose younger brother we named Timmy, just so happens to be crippled.


                       It was like we had committed the perfect crime!



                                Maywood - I'm in love for the very first time


When I first mentioned this to Harmony, she thought I had gone mad.
That I
could not possibly be serious. When she realized I was, in fact, dead serious,
she said, “I just want to lay this out for you nice and easy. It is on your head,
if something should go wrong from this asinine stunt! Then I will be forced
to kidnap you, and you will have ruined my life!” Later that evening she said
to me, “you know what? Let's do it. I'll talk my way out of any trap you lead
me into, then I'll ravage you like a hungry wolf! Come here, lift up your shirt.”

She then proceeded to give me a hickey on the under part of my arm, which
covered my armpit. “As long as you keep your arm down, your parents will
not see it. If they do happen to see it, just say you were wrestling, and
they will think it's a bruise.
” “Whenever my cousins get a new boyfriend, I
see these marks. What do they mean?” It, means you're mine. You belong to
me. Since Harmony had recently decided she would be taking an indefinite
leave from her brother's antique store, all time would be devoted to me! I
wasn't worried in the slightest about my parents wanting to eventually meet
Timmy, for they weren't interested in anyone or anything but themselves. 


Aside from them being two workaholics who were never home, when they
finally got home they were ultimately exhausted. But nonetheless, they were
never too tired to fight. Apart from all this they had more pressing issues to
attend to. Utility bills. The mortgage. Homeowner's insurance. Car insurance.
Property tax. The car when it broke down, and it broke down a lot. Food &
clothing expenses, not to mention health insurance! So I didn't think they
would be breaking down Harmony's door to rush me home for TV dinner!


                                                                                                                   Pg 174
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If they could save a dollar here and there, they would do it and besides, those damn
prefabricated meals were as bad as hospital food anyway! My mom and dad thanked
Harmony on more than one occasion for taking care of me and cooking for me, and
she always marveled to them about how well behaved I was! They even offered to
pay her, handsomely on several occasions for the service, but she flatly refused!


These are all the scribbled notes I have collected from those years.
Pages once part of a journal, kept in order by recollection of events.
Now bear in mind that the memories I have stored away from this
period of time are sketchy and faded. Sadly, they are held together
with only tears, and I am adding life to them as we go along.



I can vaguely remember the Friday of January 14th. I was at Jenny Chángs house down
the street, and she was trying to help me with simple math. Her grandmother brought in
refreshments as we sat at the kitchen table, but my mind was unable to focus. First, we
went through the flash cards, and she got most of them right; I on the other hand did
just the opposite. Then we tried it on paper, but math just didn't make sense to me and
nothing or no one could make me understand any part of it! Occasionally, she would
come to my house and we'd talk about schoolwork, but aside from that, there wasn't
much to consider and I think the feeling was mutual. Needless to say, our friendship
lasted well into the following year, before dissolving away when she moved up north.

It was around 4:30 when I arrived home. Harmony had not called me all week, and all
week I remained in a state of limbo. Since she wasn't working with her brother anymore,
I was growing very uncertain of our relationship; if it could even be called that. . .


                                              
The Basooties - You didn't try to call me

It was Sunday, January 16th, and the temperature had continued to fall. Yesterday we had
a high of 32 degrees, while today would reach a high of only 12. As we sat side by side on
the couch, her arm wrapped around me, holding me tight, I was desperately trying to think
of something to say, I just couldn't think of the right words to utter. Just then the wind blew
hard, and the vent cover to the kitchen wall fan started to make that familiar tapping sound.

For no apparent reason whatsoever, I took her hand and began licking ever so gently the tips
of her fingers, starting with the pinky and working my way down to her delicate index finger.
She sounded as if she was going into shock as she said to me in a shaky and trembling voice.
You have no---idea---what you---are doing to me.I looked at the palm of her hand and
began licking and kissing it. All those gorgeous fingers, I thought, and it did something to my
body that had not yet been explained to me. I then put her thumb in my mouth and she went
crazy; kissing my neck and mouth, as if she had the fever! All sloppy and wet and I loved it!
I embraced her and we consummated our love. . . This went on until November, 1974.


A day in my life which tragically came to be known as, "Dark Monday." I wrote
it upon my wall, as though I were possessed by demons. A day so terrible it would
change the course of my life forever, but in '72, everything was calm and peaceful
for the storm which was yet to come was as of this moment, not even a whisper.


As we got closer to one another, Harmony would cook for me regularly and even help
with my homework. She asked what my favorite foods were, and what I would like her
to buy from the store. I said to her, “whatever you eat, I will eat too,” and I always did.


                                                                                                                   Pg 175
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Even when she bought that awful okra and Brussel sprouts. Oh, and lest we forget, those
revolting turnips that made my stomach churn with nausea beyond compare! Turnips I
would not have eaten for anyone!
I did it as a labor of love and would continue doing it.
As I grew accustomed to eating them, I also got used to the nauseating discomfort they
produced. The thought of having to eat them or risk losing Harmony, was the formation
of my neurosis. In my head, I was sure that if you were to disassemble the female brain,
you would find the part in there that loves it when a man is agreeable and does everything
he is supposed to do. Eventually, I would realize that nothing was further from the truth!

The same should apply to food put in front of him. If a man eats everything on his plate
with no complaints, how can he be criticized? Most children complain of certain foods,
and gripe if the soda is warm, but a man must consume everything he is served. Even if
the iced tea is overly strong, made without sugar, and tastes like a powerful analgesic!


Harmony often said that one day I was going to make some lucky
lady a wonderful husband, and I always thought she meant her.


Come to think of it, I do remember a few things I told her to pick up from the store.
Doritos taco chips, (when they were made from the original recipe.) Quisp cereal,
with the pink Martian on the blue box, and those Beer Nuts! I had to have them!



I knew about Beer Nuts since the nineteen sixties, when my dad used to take me with
him when he frequented the local gin mills. He'd order me a soda on tap, and I would
sit next to him on the bar stool, nibbling away on an unlimited supply of those sweet
and salty, sugar coated peanuts! The bartender had no problem filling it back up for me,
whenever he saw it was getting low, because the more I ate, the more my father drank!


“You got it,” she said, like a vixen who had just stolen my heart and had no intention of
ever giving it back! “I'll make a mental note of it for the next time I go. Is there anything
else I can get for you?” “No that's it, thanks!” Whenever I wanted them, Harmony made
sure to personally hand feed me each one! Even when I wasn't craving them, I'd find
myself requesting them anyway. How delicately she would place each one in my mouth,
and watch so intensely as my tongue took the peanut from the tips of her enticing fingers.

Harmony always made sure to roll the peanut around on her thumb and forefinger, so I had
more to lick and savor! After this she sometimes caressed my back. When she finished,
I would be drawn to her breasts. She allowed me to feast on them and told me it was all
a learning experience. In return, I allowed her access to every part of my body. She even
touched me deep in the forbidden region, where hesitation brings delight to fulfillment.


                                                          Harrison - There's time

What an exquisite woman you are indeed my love,
for whom no man could ever be worthy.


Harmony and I were always happy together, unlike my parents, who were never content
to be in each others company. That was probably because they both felt equally responsible
for having me, and seemed as though they had some moral obligation to stay married.

“First one up the stairs gets to undress the other!”
With that she ran up the stairs, and I chased after her,
my heart full of rhythm an all aglow!
“I win, you're all mine!”

I looked around the room with excitable eyes, in awe of what I saw.


Up until this moment, I was forbidden to enter Harmony's room.
I was told only once and had to swear upon our love that I would not
enter. Not until the time was right. I kept my promise to her because
a man must live by his word. If he cannot, then he is not a man.


In this particular room that was painted “royal peach,” there was a fully enclosed canopy bed.
A bed which was so elaborately adorned it looked like a room inside a room! Adjacent to the
illustrious sleeping quarters was a slender cheval mirror made of cherry wood and a beautifully
crafted Elizabethan chair. To the left hung a rather strange, but very detailed Indian painting.



“Do you like my room,” she asked buoyantly? I told her I loved it, and in all honestly
I did! Like an elegantly poised actress from the roaring twenties, she responded by
saying with lips pursed and her head held high, “I am merely a collector of wares!”


                                                                                                                   Pg 176
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Hastily, she ran her hands under my shirt before pulling it up and over my head. Harmony
then began to remove my clothing, and it wasn't long after this, that we explored the
boundaries of each other. And who should care? It was my right to want and to need
this woman. To hold such a precious gift in my arms without wavering. Hell, I didn't
falter in the slightest. Just because I was young, didn't mean I didn't have a brain.

Nor did it mean I didn't deserve her!

Okay maybe you're right, I didn't deserve her, for I could never be that worthy.
And if I was unworthy, how could anyone in their right mind even think for one
second
that they could possibly be worthy? Just because one has money doesn't
mean one is worthy! For them it would be like laying claim to a magnificent trophy.




She was not an object, but rather an angel in the form of a woman who came to bless
my world. That is how I saw it. I'm pretty sure that if God judges people based on the
love and respect they hold dear to one another, then it is safe to say that we would be
revered by the conscience of our own two hearts beating in a passionate and loving
embrace. Not as an act of sin, but rather as a gift of purest love to one another.



Here in a timeless void of such intensity, we were endeared to each other as we adhered
to the promises we made, honoring the will to grant wishes in the form of all human
compassion. This was our will. Her's to love and care for me, and mine, that I may
offer myself unto her. To please her above all things, and to honor and adore her
without end. My gift was pure, for deep down inside this frail little body was the
consolation of a lifetime promise. And who is the stranger in the shadows to condemn?

Do you know me, that you seek to bring me pain? Who are you to say what is right and
what is wrong for me? Guide yourself in your own affairs and surely you will find your
own faults, but most importantly, keep your distance for your laws do not apply in our
world. “Never speak vile about love, my darling,” she once told me. “Be a man, without
being the animal man wishes to become.” In the end, I would make it my life's work.


On occasion, she would dance for me like a harem doll to songs like Mindrocker by Fenwyck,
Baby, it's real by Curt Boettcher, or Catch the wind by Donovan, which just so happens to be
her favorite, and whenever she danced, I simply could not take my eyes off her! Like an artist,
she painted my world a color I had never before
seen. A color I could no longer live without.

                                                       
The Avant-Garde - Naturally stoned



Sometimes, when she listened to her Indian music, Harmony would dress
up for me in those adoring outfits of hers! The multicolored saris, the crepe
kameez, or my favorite, the tangerine ghagra choli. What really drove me
wild was when she wore that gold tikka on her forehead! When I first saw it,
I asked her if it hurt. She laughed and replied, “what do you think, it's drilled
in?” I then imagined my mother wearing it and exploded in laughter! Most of
the time she would simply paint a little red bindi from sindoor powder and
leave it at that. It made her different from every other woman on the planet!


It was explained to me that in her culture, the little red dot usually tended to
signify marriage which made me extremely happy. However, when any of her
relatives arrived, she would always hurry to remove it before camouflaging the
area with turmeric and rouge, which overwhelmed me with a sorrow beyond
compare. She'd always apologize for doing it, and I would always forgive her.


During the day, she would wear either her chiffon kurta, the plain beige churidar,
or a traditional Western outfit that any typical American young lady would find
fashionable. As time went on, I secretly took down the names of all these outfits
and when I got home, I'd transcribe them to my journal. Otherwise, I would never
have been able to remember them! Even though most of the names took weeks, if
not months to research because they were badly misspelled, and I didn't have an
Indian dictionary, nor a state of the art computer to aid me in my advancement.



                                                                                                                   Pg 177
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The one thing that really fascinated me about Harmony was that she wasn't
Americanized. This country had not changed her. She knew who she was,
and she wasn't afraid to show it. Yes, Harmony still adhered to the customs
of her people, and as for her parents, she had only the utmost praise and
devotion. Anything they asked of her would instantly be recognized, and if
she gave her word on something, you could rest assured it would be fulfilled.




When she was in a playful mood, she would put a record on
the turntable and direct the lyrics at me. Taunting and teasing,
she would point her finger at me as she winked and smiled,
so coquettishly seductive, luring me to become one with her.


I did not believe in being a slave unto society's ways, and so I did things my own way; the
way they needed to be done. If I felt like walking around in the middle of a blizzard eating
an ice cream bar, Harmony would not chastise me for it. Instead, she would have one too!




Anyone who has a chance to fall in love, should take the time and do
so. I personally could find no harm in it, for I was truly smitten! As a
female, she had no faults and was perfect in every aspect of her being.
Every woman it seems has some denotable flaw; Harmony had none.

A woman that perfect should never have graced the earth,

but I, was deemed worthy by some cosmic star.

Harmony often said that in a perfect relationship the man had to be intuitive
and hear the woman or the relationship would fail. When she told me her
likes and dislikes, I remembered them (((because I listened))) and never
had to write them down. When she talked, I never interrupted her, and most
important of all, when a notable day comes around like your sweetheart's
birthday (((which is a given))) or your anniversary, it is imperative that you
observe and comply with due dilligence! Tattoo it on your wrist if need be,
because you absolutely cannot forget this day, or it hurts them beyond repair
and a mild resentment is formed. Never let it come to this point!!!

If it starts early, it will most certainly end early, and even more
important than anything else, never, be afraid to say, “I love you.”
It is the quintessential most important phrase on the planet.

“Don't say it if you don't mean it!

I was in an advanced class at the time, so I caught on quickly.
Everything I did, magically seemed to impress her and the more points
I scored, the more lovin' I received in return! It was an utterly flawless
relationship. . . Even though we had to hide our love away.


There is nothing wrong with following your own instincts,

as long as you are not following something you can't control!



I will admit, in the beginning I was prone to leaving the toilet seat up. I didn't
think anything of it until one day, I came out of the bathroom just as Harmony
went in. A connection was made when she slammed the seat down with such force,
it sounded like the porcelain sink crashing through the floor!!! From that moment
forward, I never left the seat up again! Even then, she came out smiling, as if she
walked in on Monday and strolled out on Friday with the sun shining! I guess
she just didn't want to tell me. Maybe she wanted me to figure it out on my own.


Knowing that Harmony's birthday was coming up in two weeks, I asked my cousin Gloria
for some advice. “When a man loves a woman, what should he buy for her birthday that is
guaranteed to please her?” “Are you asking me this because you found a girlfriend?” “No,
this is not about me. A man and a woman.” “Well, then that depends,” she said. “On what?”
“On whether or not they had sex.” With that my cousin Patty screamed, “Gloria! Are you an
asshole? Don't tell him that!” I then replied, “after,” and she gave me one of those mother/son
looks before asking me nervously. “Please don't tell me you dipped your wick at school.”

“I didn't dip. . . What?” “Never mind, I'm sorry. If this person is an adult, and if it was after
the fact
, then he should by all means buy her a box of long stemmed roses. And if you can't
afford the roses, I have something in my drawer that's guaranteed to please her.” “Glor-i-a!”
“It's long and it's hard and it buzzes!” With that, Patty put on a devilish grin. “You have
one of those?” “Yeah, you wanna try it?” “Try what,” I said innocently? “Nothing,” said Patty
and left the room swiftly. “Why do you want to know so much about how to please a woman?”
Said my cousin loudly, deliberately trying to instigate a response from my cousin Patty? “Are
you having sex with girls?” “Glo-ri-a! You're fucked up, I'm telling mommy.” “Thanks,” I said
coolly and began to leave. “The guy better remember to get her a nice card, or he's gonna be
using his left hand for awhile!” What the fuck are you stupid, screamed Patty furiously!!!


Later on that day, Gloria caught up with me and began annoying me with her questions.
Why are women so curious?

"J
ust between you and me, what's her name?" "What?" I asked so dumbfounded and shocked
by the question, my whole mind felt like it had been erased! "You heard me," she said in an
almost sweet kind of way. I opened my mouth and uttered the only name I could think of at
the time. One that no one knew, and one she would probably never remember...
Penelope.

                                                             Dave Christie - Penelope Breedlove

                                                                                                                   Pg 178
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PG 169) Treasure Island
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PG 169) Mermaid
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- http://tinyurl.com/kr72ouz

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by Gyuri Lohmuller - http://tinyurl.com/jwlh955

Pg 171) Vintage Packard advertisement (Circa 1948)

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PG 174) Sacred gift by Vladimir Kush
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PG 175)
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